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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 26.06.2025 08:04

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Why does Russia and many parts of Eastern Europe strangely have a high percentage of female doctors and physicians (~70%)?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

What do you like the most about black people?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Why do people have trouble accepting the very true fact that "The Blue Marble" photo of Earth is a composite and therefore (just like every other subsequent "picture" of Earth NASA has ever shown us) not a real photo but computer generated?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”